I came across this line in an article the other night and it was one those moments the heavens opened, a brilliant beam of light shoots down, and the recipient below is transformed for life.
If you have followed my journey for any length of time you would know I recently wrote a book. (You would have to have literally lived under a rock to be a “friend” of mine on any social media platform and not know this.)
The book has been such an amazing journey… until now. If I am honest, the time I spent writing and dreaming – praying and hoping – kicking and cussing – was one of the most confusing times of my life. I never thought of myself as a “writer” but… I have always enjoyed the sound of keys clicking away on a keyboard. Honestly, that sound is what kept me at it on occasion! (REEEAL SPIRITUAL, I KNOW!)
But you know what? Something happened when I finished what would become the last chapter of the book. I came alive! EXCITEMENT does not begin to describe the feeling. I remember wanting to tell the world (and nearly did several times) of this newly acquired secret/ milestone achievement. This excitement caused me to look at the treachery that is editing and formatting like the greatest of gifts. It was just one more step that would bring me closer to holding a REAL LIFE book in my hands with MY NAME ON THE COVER!
Self-publishing? Not a problem.
That was the last thing in my way, and even that grueling process would not endure the fury of my elation caused by the prospect of obtaining a dream unasked for.
I was holding this treasure, this book, and I wanted the world to know. I also felt an UNBELIEVABLE pressure to make it a success in order to “steward well” what the Lord had given me. Naturally, when the book did not sell out (I still have three boxes in the back of my truck if you need a copy) I was flattened. This unreasonable expectation (at the date of this posting Grace Pace has only been out 12 days) I had did not dissuade me. No. Instead, it gave birth and the pressure caused by this new monster was EVEN GREATER.
I began searching for new ways to get the word out and convince you all that you were missing out if you did not buy a copy for yourself and two for your friends. That is when I came across the article mentioned at the top of this post.
Like a smack across the face from the paw of a bear, reality highlighted my gross entitlement. See, I thought because I did the “hard work” of writing/publishing a book that you owed it to me to read it. It was YOUR job to tell all your friends and make this thing the hit I knew it could be.
I realized then and there – in the pitch black upstairs bedroom at my parent’s house- that I had done NOTHING to appeal to you. The reader. The customer. The believer that would give my dream life. So, it is with newfound humility that I make this statement:
I DO NOT DESERVE YOUR ATTENTION.
Time is the most valuable thing on this planet and we all get a limited supply. I was foolish to ask for it without first proving your time would be well spent. If you entertain the ramblings of my fingers across these keys then it is a gift, not something I have earned. So, thank you.
It is my mission now to share what God has given me with you, His most loved sons and daughters, not for acclaim, praise, or profit; but for the growth of you and the growth of me. It takes more than I have to put all this out in the open but if you will do me the honor of reading… I will continue to write.
On this blog I will share freely what I have been given. You may not always find something profound – but you will find words that are honest and real. Jesus is the reason I am here, He is the reason I am what I am and I will not pretend anything else is true. If you buy my book, great. Thank you! But you will find its message (and much more) here along the path of this new journey. This journey is not one I want to walk along so I invite you along for the ride. Will you come with me?
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